Intimacy

     For a few days now, my thoughts have been on intimacy. I've been pondering it. What is it? How do I guard my heart and still be intimate with someone?
     The secular culture has perverted the meaning of the word, and that bothers me. I know that intimacy is simply being close to or vulnerable with someone. One may be intimate with his or her deepest friends. One may be intimate with his or her family. One also may be uncomfortably intimate with someone he or she is forced to stand really close to in an outrageous line on Black Friday.
     Intimacy is...tough, because, in the case of friends, family, and other relationships, there is an amount of trust involved. There is vulnerability involved. There is a deeper connection than surface-level involved. Reality and truth are involved. It's hard, and the truth is that sometimes you and I will get hurt. We'll want to return to the smiles of surface-level because it is safe there. Our hearts and the deepest things about us are not in danger there. I've found, however, that intimacy is essential. If we stay surface-level, we'll never know what lies in deeper waters. Something beautiful may be waiting in those deeper waters, but if we're too scared to swim down, we will never know it.
     I've always thought that I am pretty good about being real with people and not putting up that surface-level front. A few days ago, my eyes were opened, though, when, in a conversation, I revealed something from deep within myself to the person I was talking to and the person sort-of balked. Not that it was some horrible memory or something. I was simply revealing a desire from my heart. I could tell that this person was taken a bit off guard, and I was embarrassed. And do you know what I did? I consciously returned to the surface-level. I did not want to be embarrassed anymore.
     One thing I have observed is that people expect you to be surface-level. They expect conversations to go as follows: "Hey! How are you?" "I'm fine. How are you?" "I'm good." With smiling faces, you are expected to part ways, and neither of you know any more about each other than you did at the beginning of the conversation. On the inside, though, each of us truly has something worthwhile to say. We have hurts that are raging and battles being fought. We have celebrations to share and stories untold. We have treasures inside of us that we don't need to hide. Surface-level is not going to show forth the gold and silver, diamonds and pearls that are at the bottom of the sea. Intimacy is essential. Take time to actually connect with someone. Listen to his or her words. I can guarantee that, just as you and I have something to say, other people do, too.